Life as a village cricketer

This week, as a village cricketer, I went to France. To watch a motorbike race. What’s this got to do with cricket? Absolutely nothing. But that’s the point.

Chin up, Kev. Some of us would be very happy with an average of 11.16. I'd definitely bite your hand off if offered a top score of 32, too.

In my efforts to surpass my miserable average of 4.78 (with the bat, unfortunately, not the ball) in 2011, I’ll need all the practice I can get. A weekend spent drinking heavily in Le Touquet is hardly ideal preparation.

That said, the time away brought a target into mind. Rather than just aim to average more than 4.78, I have returned with a set goal.

A pub that we strolled into on Friday morning was, surprisingly, showing the third Test of the Pakistan Vs England series. More predictably, no one was watching that screen. There was some skiing on another TV, so I had a bit of room to settle my Guinness down and watch the end of Day 1.

I avoided the funny looks from locals and protested when the skiing was switched onto my TV. ‘Oi, Jean-Claude, get the bloody cricket back on’. For the avoidance of doubt, we go to Le Touquet for said motorbike race every year, and the barman’s name is actually Jean-Claude. He’s been working in the Globe Trotter for years.

With the skiing off, some stats were displayed on the screen; the England batting line up and its averages in this series. Miserable reading.

But it gave me an idea. An average of 11.16 in a series is terrible to someone like, say, Kevin Pietersen, but actually quite good to someone like, say, me.

So, in 2012, in the Surrey Cricket League Division Three, I am aiming to average at least 11.16. I am aiming to emulate KP.

I could, of course, set my sights a little lower. Ian Bell is even further within reach. I might actually back myself to average 8.50.

I could, of course, set my sights a little higher. Eoin Morgan must be over the moon with an average of 13.66. I know I would be.

I’ve opted for the middle ground. KP it shall be. Wish me luck.

By Miles Reucroft

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